I do not want to marry that person: forced marriage and help

Choice must be real

You can say: “I do not want to marry that person.” You do not need to prove they are a bad person or give a reason for saying no. An engagement, family agreement or money spent on a wedding does not replace your own free consent. You can change your mind after agreeing. Pressure may include threats, shame, violence, money or losing care and support. If saying no openly could put you at risk, ask a professional privately for help rather than confronting the people involved.

An arranged marriage is different

In an adult arranged marriage, family may suggest a partner or help with arrangements, but each person remains free to accept or refuse. It becomes forced if that freedom is removed through pressure or if someone cannot consent. A family’s good intentions, religious wishes or wish to arrange future care do not replace the person’s own consent.

Learning disability and capacity

Having a learning disability does not automatically mean someone cannot decide about marriage. Capacity means being able to make the particular decision, with practicable support. Information may need simple words, pictures, time and appropriate professional assessment. If an adult lacks capacity to consent to marriage, arranging it is forced marriage even without pressure. A parent, deputy, attorney, professional or court cannot agree to the marriage on that person’s behalf.

Children under 18

In England and Wales it is an offence to cause a child to enter a marriage before 18, even without violence, threats or other pressure. This protection includes ceremonies that are not legally recognised. The adult distinction between arranged and forced marriage does not make child marriage acceptable. Report concerns through children’s safeguarding services or the police, and ask the Forced Marriage Unit for specialist advice.

When to ask for help

Ask for help if you feel pressured, a marriage is being planned without your agreement, or you fear a trip may lead to marriage. Someone may control documents, money, travel or communication. You can seek help before a ceremony or after a forced marriage. You do not have to wait for violence or collect evidence before telling a professional.

Contact the Forced Marriage Unit

The Forced Marriage Unit, called the FMU, offers free specialist advice. Call 020 7008 0151, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. Outside those hours call 020 7008 5000. You can email fmu@fcdo.gov.uk if safe. Explain whether you can speak freely, your communication needs and a safe contact method. Ask how information will be handled. Call 999 for immediate danger in the UK.

Privacy and family contact

The FMU says it will not contact your family. You can initially remain anonymous, although that may limit practical help. Information is treated in confidence, with protection exceptions such as being under 18 or imminent harm. Tell other services if family contact, a callback or a letter could put you at risk. Ask for an independent interpreter or communication specialist rather than relying on someone who may be involved.

Do not try to solve this through family mediation

Family counselling, mediation or a meeting with community leaders can expose the person to further harm. Specialist guidance says agencies should not initiate or encourage these approaches in forced-marriage cases. If supporting someone, contact the FMU or safeguarding professionals instead of confronting relatives or arranging negotiations. Listen to the person privately and take concerns seriously.

Travel and help overseas

Contact the FMU urgently before travel if you fear a forced marriage. Explain any departure date and access needs. If already abroad, contact the FMU or nearest British embassy for guidance on what help is available. Overseas consular help depends on nationality, location and circumstances, and cannot be guaranteed. Do not rely on a family promise that a trip is harmless if you remain worried; seek specialist advice safely.

Court protection

A Forced Marriage Protection Order can set rules to protect someone before or after a forced marriage. The court decides the conditions, which may concern passports, travel or contact. There is no court application fee. Urgent orders may be made without first notifying those involved. Ask a solicitor about the correct application, legal aid, confidential contact details and communication support. The FMU can advise even if you do not want to apply for an order.

Ongoing support matters

Protection needs to include accessible housing, personal care, money, medicine, education and emotional support where relevant. Ask services to coordinate around your wishes and safety. Supporters should not put the person at risk by saving sensitive plans on shared devices. Follow up any missing support through the responsible service, safeguarding team or solicitor.

If you have already been forced to marry

You can still ask for protection and help to leave safely. You do not have to wait until you can apply for divorce. A family solicitor can explain divorce, annulment and protection orders. Annulment is a court process for certain marriages that were invalid or can be set aside, including some cases where consent was not properly given. It is not automatic. Get individual advice about your marriage, any time limits, children, housing and immigration position.

I do not want to marry that person

You can say no

You can change your mind

Support with decisions

Ask for independent help

Safety, travel and protection

Ask for help safely

Help after a forced marriage

What you can do next

More useful links