Carers & future planning · England
Support for brothers and sisters
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A sibling is a brother or sister.
Brothers and sisters can need support too.
Every family is different.
People can have different feelings about family life.
You can ask questions about your brother or sister.
Ask for answers you can understand.
Your own health, friends and interests matter.
You can ask for time and support for yourself.
Tell someone if helping at home feels too much.
Ask what support your family can get.
Children need time for school, rest, friends and play.
They should not have to organise all the care.
Sibs is a charity for brothers and sisters.
It offers information and ways to find support.
Talk about future support before there is a crisis.
Do not assume one sibling will do everything.
Ask what each person wants and can manage.
Keep the person receiving support involved.
Ask how your brother or sister wants you involved.
Their private information still matters.
Make time for things you both enjoy.
You can also have different interests.
Ask for help when family life changes.
Check that the support plan still works.
What you can do next
Sibs has information for adults and young people.
You can ask someone to explore the website with you.
Find support for siblings Web pageThis link opens another website.
It may use harder words.
More useful links
- Sibs: support for adult siblings Web page
Peer support, practical guides, sibling stories and planning ahead.
- YoungSibs Web page
Information and support for ages 7–17 with a disabled brother or sister.
- Sibs: support for parents Web page
Ideas for listening, giving attention and supporting positive sibling relationships.
- NHS: carer’s assessments Web page
Support for adults providing unpaid care to another adult.
- NHS: young carers’ rights Web page
Asking the council about an assessment and support for a young carer.
These links open other websites.
They may use harder words.
Support for brothers and sisters of people with learning disabilities
Support for young and adult siblings, their relationships and plans for the future.
People with learning disabilities, families and supporters · England
Siblings are people with their own needs
A sibling is a brother or sister. Relationships can include affection, fun, irritation, pride, worry or mixed feelings. Each family is different. The sibling may also have a disability or other support needs. Avoid describing either person as a burden or expecting a sibling to be endlessly patient. Both people need chances to be heard and spend time doing things they enjoy.
Help children understand what is happening
Give honest explanations in a form suited to the child’s age and understanding. Allow questions more than once and say when you do not know an answer. Explain changes such as hospital stays or new support arrangements. YoungSibs offers information and a route to ask a sibling adviser for ages 7–17. Adults should make space for private conversations, play, school life and friendships.
Make room for feelings and individual time
A child may avoid mentioning worries because the family is busy. Offer regular chances to talk without insisting they feel a particular way. Plan some individual time and recognise things important to them. If they are being hurt, bullied or frightened, take this seriously and seek appropriate support. Supporting one child’s needs must include keeping the other children safe too.
When a young sibling is helping with care
Some young siblings provide practical or emotional support. Ask what they actually do, whether it affects sleep, education or friendships, and what help the whole family needs. Contact the council or local young carers service to ask about an assessment and support. Children should not have to solve gaps in adult care arrangements. Discuss how essential care will continue without relying on them.
Support for adult siblings
Adult siblings may be balancing their own family, work, health and an ageing parent’s needs. Sibs offers adult peer groups, information and shared experiences. It can help to talk with people who understand this role. If you provide unpaid care for an adult, ask the council about a carer’s assessment and explain what you are willing and able to do.
Discuss the future without assumptions
Start conversations before a crisis. Ask the person with a learning disability what matters to them and use their communication methods. Discuss what each sibling can and wants to offer. One person may help keep in touch or attend a meeting without being able to provide daily care. Record agreed roles, professional contacts and backup arrangements, with a date to review them.
Respect voice, privacy and decision-making
A sibling may know someone very well, but should not automatically speak instead of them. Ask how the person wants family involved and what information can be shared. Services should explain permission and decision-making arrangements. Use the capacity and advocacy guides if someone needs help making a specific decision. A family disagreement needs careful listening rather than assuming one relative has the final say.
Keep the relationship more than a caring role
Shared jokes, favourite music, celebrations or a short visit can matter as much as practical tasks. Ask what both people enjoy and what support makes that possible. Where communication is complex, use familiar ways to connect and allow time. Offer separate activities and privacy too. A good relationship does not require constant contact or identical interests.
Ask for help when circumstances change
Revisit support after a move, a parent’s illness, bereavement or a change in care. Sibs has information about sibling bereavement as well as future planning. Tell the relevant services if existing arrangements are no longer manageable, rather than silently taking on more. Ask for a clear response, named actions and a backup plan. The linked carers and safeguarding guides explain further routes.
Words you could use
“Please include the needs and wishes of brothers and sisters in this discussion. We need a plan that does not assume a sibling will take over all the care.”
More useful links
- Sibs: support for adult siblings Web page
Peer support, practical guides, sibling stories and planning ahead.
- YoungSibs Web page
Information and support for ages 7–17 with a disabled brother or sister.
- Sibs: support for parents Web page
Ideas for listening, giving attention and supporting positive sibling relationships.
- NHS: carer’s assessments Web page
Support for adults providing unpaid care to another adult.
- NHS: young carers’ rights Web page
Asking the council about an assessment and support for a young carer.
These links open other websites.
They may use harder words.
Where the information comes from
Links checked 1 November 2026.
These links open other websites.
They may use harder words.
- Sibs: adult siblings Web page
Peer support, wellbeing, future planning and bereavement.
- Sibs: YoungSibs Web page
Questions, feelings and support for young siblings.
- Sibs: parents supporting siblings Web page
Individual time, explanations, safety, relationships and family support.
- NHS: carer’s assessments Web page
The adult carer assessment route and willingness and ability to care.
- NHS: young carers’ rights Web page
Young carer assessment routes and consideration of education, leisure and willingness to care.
- NHS: Mental Capacity Act Web pageFuller information
Supporting individual decision-making and understanding authority.